Posted in Thoughts

A Round Of Applause In August

downloadThis is the month when a lot of things have changed in me, in my life. I must say that I have grown now for I have been able to perceive more profoundly the meaning of life. I am now more inspired and confident to traverse all the challenges waiting for me along the way that eventually will be successfully overcome by me.  I am ready. Trust me when I say those things.

I am crossing out one-by-one the negative things that almost have intervened me from being happy since the first day of this month. I am laughing at them for trying to beat me! And yes, all applause to my unbeatable self for I have acquired all the positive energy and been tough since the very beginning of this chapter till right now.

Anyway, it’s been two months since I started to utilize this site as a place to where I can truly express my thoughts and emotions, not to mention the things that I want to share. And so far, I am happy, at the same time thrilled by the aftermath of my exercising this activity because, I really did enjoy it that I can say I have progressed and improved a lot.

This is the month when I’ve become more inclined to writing and have gained confidence in my compositions. Gradually, it seems easy for me to express whatever thoughts I have in my head even though, I admit, there are times that I run out of words and find myself loading for the appropriate term that fits to make a sentence comprehensible. But as always, I do not give up.

My intention to why I am doing this is my progress because I think, writing skills is important and I am serious about it. I am not actually after the perfection of my grammar. I am doing this thing because I think I am bound for obtaining this gift. Yeah! Ever since I started to blog, I have seen my passion in it already and how cool and valuable it is having this kind of ability- this is what pushes me exert more effort to my progress.

Most often that not, I can feel how eager I am to write something. There are times also that I can feel that words are seemed like playing in my head which tickle me to compose and complete a story without even trying to scribble them with letters through pen and paper- which I think is the coolest thing ever. I can feel the urge of doing such thing regardless of whatever mood I have, wherever I am, whoever I am surrounded with. It just feels like I am really called for this.

I am happy to have been able to get a place like this one where all the flowing juices in my head could be written down. I am not a writer, sure, for I have not yet proven myself as one. But believe me, I will gain that title someday.

This is definitely my last post this month because tomorrow, which is a few minutes from now, is obviously a new chapter of the year where everything is blank.

I won’t make it long for I would only like to say thank you, Lord for supporting me in this passion and to all the people who have made me firm to continue writing, pursuing what I want, and believing in what I can do.

This is something that I want to do till the last breath of my life. So, to my readers, enjoy reading my upcoming entries.

kcc

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Posted in Emotions

Desire…

images
I am dying
for having you
by my side
this time of
loneliness.
 
I am dying
for seeing you
one more time
this time of
sadness.
 
I am dying
for touching you
again this time
and for the rest
of my life.
 
I am dying
for your love
to wash away
all of the
agonies
brought by life.
 
This is my desire. This is want I want right now under the taps of the raindrops on the roof. This cold weather reminds me of how we used to cuddle and forget everything under the sheets. 
 
Desire spreads through me like wildfire.
 
kcc.
Posted in life

To The Girl Who Replaced Me

downloadYou might be wondering now why I wrote a letter to you. Like we all know, through letters can only we be able to say the things that we are afraid of or can’t say in person. I don’t know you personally. And literally, I don’t even know if there is a new girl, if there is really you. But as far as I am concerned, I am writing this for you, whoever you are, to be aware that I am happy for the both of you.

There are so many things that I’d like you to know before it gets dark and before we both can’t have a chance to witness the sun rises again. Before the world ends, there are many things I want to say.

I don’t know how and why we ended up so sudden. I mean, me and your gentleman. We’ve been together for the whole life we’ve spent in College. My life with him was full of roses and as sweet as chocolates. I thought I was the happiest girl in the planet that I’ve met him and he gave everything to me. I was so happy and truly in love with him.

But these things had to end. Our story was written by our own choices. It hurt when we broke up. I got home with my eyes so swollen. I was so weak that night and mad at life. As I reached my room, I slammed the door and hurried to crawl to bed as I held my tears until I got to my comfort zone. I pulled the sheets and clung onto the previous moments I was with him. It was terrible. I felt so terrible for myself.

Things got rough the next day as it usually does after a heartbreaking scene in our lives. But the feelings I had that day… it was like I was beginning to realize that I had made a wrong decision in life that I let a man ruined me. But I know I was just freaking out. I couldn’t accept the reality that we were our own lessons. But honestly, I regret nothing about loving him my whole life before.

I loved him so much. So please, take good care of him. Don’t push him to his limits like what I did. You don’t have to worry about anything that comes between us, love. If ever we would have a gathering with our circle of friends, don’t hesitate to let him go. He’ll be fine. I won’t bother him anymore.

Never ever underestimate his skills. There are times for sure that he will hesitate his abilities, but instead of giving sympathies, let him understand that you are also weak as he is and so all people are. Let him know your capabilities and don’t hide anything from him. When he asks you to come see him play basketball, come cheer him. Make him feel that he’s the ultimate heartthrob among all the players.

You are his future and present now. I hope he’ll give all the love you deserve like what I did receive from him. I hope he’ll love you so deeply. I hope there are new things he’ll do that he never did to me before. I want you to be special to him.

You are his princess now, and soon to be the queen of his own palace. I remember that we used to talk about future together, that no matter what may happen, nothing can bring us down. But things are different now. I hope you know that. We are not together anymore and I can’t give the love he deserves. Not to him. I hope you will love him. Give him all the love he deserves that I, maybe, failed to provide.

I don’t want to be a threat in your relationship. I don’t want your friends to hate me either. I don’t want you to loathe me if you think I did not love him. Because for God’s sake, I did, more than he knows and more than you could ever imagine. I truly did give my whole world to him. I don’t want the good things turn into bad ones. Let’s not be bitter to one another for this is the only way to keep peace in its place. I don’t want to lose my track and be the person I’m not, so please don’t hate me.

I want to meet you in person if you think that’s necessary. Because it is, in my view. I want to be friends with you for I think we have many things in common. I can feel it even though I am not fully sure if you ever exist.

Once and for all, I am telling you that I am the past already. You are the future and the present he has to hold on now. If you think I am a bad person because I let him walk away from me, your conclusion won’t pass and can’t guarantee you right, for I am not. You’ll know my name, perhaps, but not the real me and what I’ve been through.

Let him kiss your forehead in public if you need to part ways, it just means that he dearly respect you – the way a man should respect his woman. Let him hug you when he’s upset, your being present in times of his struggles will eliminate every negative vibe in him, kiss his cheeks and tell him how much you care about him. Let him hold your hands while you two walk in the street, it means a lot to him to show the world how proud he is of having you in his life, for having the woman any man can never have the key in your heart. Because he owns you already. And he will never let you go.

Let him talk to you like no more tomorrows because he will miss you so much once you are asleep, it makes him feel alone. Let him cry on your shoulders when things get rough and he can’t handle them anymore. Cheer him up when he plays basketball, it will boost his confidence. Love him more than the way you love the things very valuable to you. Because in this world, once we lose the things that once made us happy, we’ll regret it afterwards. It will kill the person inside us knowing that we can never get the things back the way they were. Don’t lose track. Value everything he does, he’ll never put you in peril.

I know you are wondering why I’m asking you to do all these things to him. It doesn’t necessary anymore if I have moved on now or not yet. The things that I am telling you are the keys, I firmly believe, to make him happy. I want you to experience the happiness we’ve once shared. I want you to make it more everlastingly. Don’t hurt him. Please.

You are now his favorite flower. You are now lying to the bed of roses. You are now his sun so, give him the light he deserves, you are now the sunshine of his every morning. So don’t waste it.

Reign the world with respect, trust, hope, dreams, and most above all, love. Love him as deeply as you can. Keep his trust on you intact. If you lose him, meaning you took for granted one of the wonderful things anyone couldn’t have. Please don’t lose him. Like a vault, keep him safe. Because to be loved by him is a privilege.

kcc.

Posted in reblogged

Pine needles and a vegetating heart

“Maybe you feel like you may still be living last night’s dream, so you take the same premeditated path to see if now, this lucid experience, finally takes you where you really wanted to go in your sleep.”

I loved your masterpieces and this is one of my favorites. ♥ I would also like you to know that I adore your profound wordings and your thoughts coming from within your senses. I hope I’ll be able to do that as well. 🙂 I’ll connect more to your posts. Thanks!

-Kristine, Philippines. ♥

Let's talk about the L word!

Habits consume us just like those wild spreading vines steal the light from a north facing wall. They drain the short remains of life we still present, a worn out life of failed tries and faulty expectations. Our obsessive patterns, they always lead to the same old places where we will, hopefully, vislumbre the same old scenarios, so we can cause ourselves the same old feeling, once again, until our tired body collapses from all the pain we repetitively inflict on ourselves, naïvely.

But that opportunity is long gone by now, there’s no returning to what once was nothing and now, less than nothing is; it’s only you and your nothingness, but still you force yourself a little more into those woods. Justifying it as an inner need to relax and feel at home in the wild, you go there to breath, every morning, before the day wakes up. Maybe you feel…

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