Despite what happened this afternoon with me and my father, I still wanna make the 365th day of 2015 special. Yep, we had misunderstandings but I don’t wanna make it the reason of my unhappiness. It is another story from what I am about to share. So please don’t be bothered. HA HA.
At the moment, I am at the office and currently waiting for emails from clients that need to be addressed. I am working and won’t be able to welcome 2016 with my family. It’s sad tho yet I need to withstand the air of melancholy that I am feeling right now. I miss them to be honest. I just hope they’re enjoying the food and the fireworks display!
So… I’ll be updating once again a post about my thoughts, my feelings. This will be my last post this year! Hooray! Enjoy reading!
I’ve had a lot of troubles in 2015. Nevertheless, more than the percentage of my troubles are the good things I’ve experienced. I am beyond grateful. This year, I graduated in College, got my very first job after graduation, met new friends, and able to hike two mountains. In 364 days that have passed, I can’t recall how many times I’ve cried for so many reasons. I can’t even recall the times I’ve felt ignored and rejected. To make it precise, I’ve had so many dramas that I don’t know how to put into words and say out loud in a way people will understand. There are things that we want to share yet don’t know where to start right? Yes, I am grateful for this life.
In addition, it’s just heartbreaking the fact that my first love and I got separated this year. I have all said it in my previous posts and good thing is that I have recovered from the pain. I believe I have for it does not ache anymore. Yeeeah. So this adds to the list of my sorrow this 2015. Just a quick note, we are in good terms now. 🙂
The reason why I am writing this is that I don’t have someone to talk to right now. I don’t trust anyone here to listen to my anguish. I just wanna say that I am craving for more and that I am not confident enough to say to the whole world that I am an achiever. What I gained this year isn’t enough. I don’t have something to be proud of and am incompetent. It is indeed unproductive. It does not feel an achievement at all. I want more, that’s the truth. But other than this, I am alive, kicking, and breathing so I guess I still should be happy about it even though it feels like I am lacking for something.
This new year, I want to achieve the things I never have been able to attain in the past year. Number 1 is to travel. Number 2 is to pursue a career in the field I’d studied for 4 years. For the previous, I think I deserve to see the world. I think I was born to see it and understand the very core of my existence. I want also to inspire other people’s lives, by this I will be able to change their lives. I want to be a help in spreading love and good morals to whoever I will be surrounded with. I wanna do all these things in a year and to follow. Hopefully, this will be accomplished.
I want a challenge, a challenge that definitely will make someone like me a true achiever. This year will end without me having attained my course I finished in College. I am taking this fact against what I can do. It feels like I’ve wasted half of this year for nothing. I am a customer rep and my job is to deliver good services which is I am not really good at. Six months, I have been confined in this environment yet I am not sure if I’ve been mended into a well and better person. See? How sad that I could say these things to myself. But I don’t wanna settle for this forever that’s why I have set my goals for this coming year and I am determined to achieve them all. And that is why I am letting you know that I am not giving up.
I am not actually expecting that 2016 is my year. But I am sure of doing all my best to make it my year. This new year, I want a change. This may sound cliche but I am really seeing myself complying with it this year. It’s not yet the end of the world, right? Anyone can make a change and do for this world. So everybody, let’s all work on this forever! Let’s soar high for good!
I want to end this note by greeting everyone a HAPPY NEW YEAR! So, these all are my thoughts… my final thoughts this year. Again, HAPPY NEW YEAR!