I hope I could find my way again as I feel lost. I don’t know who I am anymore, and what I want to do, and where I want to go. I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about forgiving myself for being who I am today, trying to find out the things that could totally make me happy, and searching the meaning of happiness in every single thing or person I meet along my way. I do the things I am not supposed to do. I don’t any longer know how to filter the words I am about to say. I don’t have control to myself anymore. I am drained with the fact that I am confused about something I cannot figure out what is. I have been thinking about it my whole life.
My life is an example of an insignificant existence.
Nothing’s left to me stable. And the rest of my senses have found their way out that caused me a lot of trouble. I am no longer able to distinguish what is right and what is wrong. I also have forgotten the importance of seeing the truth in one’s eyes, even how to do it. It feels like the light that used to enlighten my way and being has dimmed out. It seems to me that I don’t get the meaning of every lecture I am receiving, despite that I can hear every word. I find it hard to inhale all the good around me for I am not sure if there is any. And whenever I try to breathe out the air I carry within me, I always hope it includes all the toxic in this life.
I do not know what is going on.
Good thing I still know my name, but who really I am? I have no idea anymore.